Coddled Kids Don't Do Well In College

Here's an article for parents out there (and yes, as a parent I took this one to heart too).

Colleges are more and more aware of the damage that helicopter parents are doing to their kids, and are trying to incorporate the warning sings of coddled kids crumbling into the fabric of the college experience.

Behind the Curtain of College Admissions...

NPR produces a lot of really wonderful pieces on the college application process.  If you haven't noticed, they are one of my favorite go to resources for college information.  I wasn't surprised to see an article recently about whether the college process is fair for applicants.  

Read the article titled, "Behind the Curtain of College Admissions, Fairness May Not Be Priority No. 1," here.

There are a lot of very open and honest things being discussed in this article, including the fact that the college admissions process is not fair.  Frankly, I don't feel that it has to be at the private college level.  Every institution has their priorities, and those change from year to year, and sometimes even day to day during committee sessions.  Colleges are looking to fill their campuses full of individuals that will add to classroom discussions and community actions - having an entire freshman class of trumpet players or biology majors or white kids doesn't necessarily add dimension to a class.  

I know!  I know!  I'm saying things that are difficult to hear but I will defer to the article for clarity, "institutions choose based on what their institutional needs are, and they're not necessarily going to be fair to every individual, because they can't pick every individual."

When a student comes into my office and they want to know how to "get in" or they want to know why they didn't get it, it's really, really hard to give them an exact answer.  There are so many qualified applicants that so many amazing kids will be left out.  Should every qualified kid get a spot at their dream college?  Um, maybe...but it just doesn't work that way.  

I'm sure that there are many kids who think they should get into Harvard based on the fact that they have good grades, good scores, leadership roles, and they have worked hard.  In fact, I'm certain that almost every Valedictorian at almost every high school in the US thinks they should have a shot at Harvard but, frankly, Harvard doesn't have that many seats.  It's just the luck of the draw.  

Is Harvard the only place these students can be truly happy?  Absolutely, not!  There are so many wonderful colleges and universities out there to get excited about.  Honestly, I think that parents (and before you say anything, yes, I am a parent) and students should understand that their happiness doesn’t rest solely on a rankings list.  They can be happy at schools outside of their “reach schools” list.  As parents and counselors and teachers, we just have to remind them that they are more than a number and their happiness is not defined by what did or did not happen in an admissions committee room.    

Passion?

A friend forwarded me this article from the New York Times Parenting Blogs, "Our Push For 'Passion,' and Why It Harms Kids."

In my job as a college counselor, I talk about passion all the time.  I'm certain that I say the word "passion" to my students and fellow educators at least ten times a day. 

I jumped on the passion bandwagon when I was an undergraduate admissions officer at Trinity College during my very first reading season.  As a first reader, I spent six days a week, eight hours a day for two long months doing nothing but reading college applications.  Throughout the "reading season" I would review applications from students who were highly qualified to students who were under-qualified, and everywhere in between.  Regardless of how qualified each student was, I still read every application from beginning to end.  You never knew where a gem would be hiding! 

I would often find myself rooting for some applicants, regardless of GPA and standardized testing scores, because they had the ability to take an activity they participate in and make their commitment come alive for the reader.  I'm not saying that these students needed to be outstanding writers or truly deep thinkers.  They just needed to be able to understand why an activity was important (either to them, their family, their friends, their community, and/or the world) and articulate that commitment.  Sometimes these students had more than one passion that they divided their time between, and that was totally fine! 

For me, passion doesn't mean finding one thing and doing nothing but that one thing over and over again in order to show that you are committed/passionate/highly proficient.  In the college application process, passion is about understanding how or why what you do is important and how that activity can or has made a difference in this world.  It's about thinking below the surface level and acknowledging that what you do matters - in your life or in another person's life.  It's not about do, do, do.  It's about think, think, think.        

The Moral Bucket List

I was very inspired by this article by David Brooks called, "The Moral Bucket List."  Read.  Enjoy.  Be inspired to be the best you you can be.   

The Ivy League Essay

I always hesitate to post "great college essays" because I'm afraid that my students will unintentionally write in a similar way or on a similar topic.  That said, as my seniors bear down to finish those last remaining college applications, I thought I should post the college essay that got it's author into every Ivy League school. 

Here is what I love about this essay:

1. The author talks about his love of music in such a loving and simple way.  "My haven for solace in and away from home is in the world of composers, harmonies and possibilities.  My musical haven has shaped my character and without it, my life would not be half as wonderful as it is today."

2. The author talks about his longevity in music.  He has been playing the violin for nine years.  I feel as though my mantra, "quality over quantity," in regards to extracurricular activities is highlighted here.

3. The author uses the lessons he has learned in music to inspire other areas of his life.  From being in a high school musical to being a part of a Doo Wop Group to leadership roles, this young man is able to see the impact of one interest across everything he does.

No matter what my students write about, I encourage them to keep their writing simple, to write about something they are passionate about (that passion will shine through!), and to connect what they have learned to all areas of their life. 

Pieces of Advice for College-Seeking High School Seniors

Amen to all seven pieces of advice in this interesting article from Forbes Magazine.

My favorite piece of advice (and it was so hard to choose because they were all so wonderful):

"More important than where you go is how you go.

"If you attend college determined to make learning and growth your priority, if you regularly take the risk to try new things, if you go meet your professors personally, and if you claim the campus as your home, the odds are very high that you will walk across the commencement stage in four short years with a profound sense of satisfaction.

"You have the power to create long-term mentors and lifelong friends. You can grow in ways you’d never wish to trade away. You can develop your adult identity and your voice. Every college offers all this—but no college can do it for you. The greatest learners create the education they seek."

*I was worried when I posted it that students wouldn't continue reading beyond the author's college - Franklin & Marshall.  Yes, I live in a community that looks at the very top of rankings lists and, yes, otherwise fabulous colleges don't get looked at because of where they fall on a list.  If you feel this way, I challenge you to research this college because you might find out something wonderful about this school or about yourself that you never knew.  You might even decide that this college president has a tremendous outlook on education and on the students he sees fitting into his college.  If you like what you read, maybe Franklin & Marshall is for you!